57 Hours
There are times when you just say this ‘What was I thinking?’ or rather say ‘Why was I thinking?. Today was one of those days when I looked at myself with that bright radiant smile and said, ‘I feel blessed and I’m filled with gratitude and faith’. The past 57 hours has been the longest in a very very long time. All analytics and logic seemed had gone out of the window and I was in this state of carrying a big boulder on my head and fire below me. All that I could do was pray with all my heart and soul. Have you experienced this feeling of praying so intensely that your head hurt and the more you tried to calm your self the more agitated you become? Well the past 57 hours had been exactly that.
So, after all this doze of heavy emotional adjectives..before anyone gets overtly cynical about me and all that I have written; I give you the background. It is all for the endless wait for one phone call from someone, who has given a total different dimension and path to my life lately.
On my way to work today, all that I could see were the smiling faces of all these godly people, my spiritual coach, my friends and my soul staring back at me and simply saying, ‘Silly girl!!’. Could’nt help but just smile back at them and say aloud, ‘I told you I need your help, so now please forgive me’.
Something amazing that I experienced and watched in the past 57 hours, was the power tussle of the mind and my being, both trying to rein which one of them is supreme and more powerful. It was like watching WWE and I as a spectator just felt the punch every time my mind hit my being and my being just played defense.
Like my spiritual coach said, ‘Watch it, when it comes, and don’t start arguing with it’. This ‘It’ I am talking about is the ‘The Great Thoughts’ (all sarcasm intended). This power game of the mind and my being, have left my intestines wriggled and all cramped to one corner of my stomach, my head burning (I can cook an omelet), but most importantly an extreme sense of awareness of the journey I have set on to.
Cannot agree more with what I read yesterday when Paulo Cohelo said ‘Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worse kind of suffering’. End of this exhausting 57 hours I truely have to practice "Don't give in to your fears. If you do, you won't be able to talk to your heart".
So, after all this doze of heavy emotional adjectives..before anyone gets overtly cynical about me and all that I have written; I give you the background. It is all for the endless wait for one phone call from someone, who has given a total different dimension and path to my life lately.
On my way to work today, all that I could see were the smiling faces of all these godly people, my spiritual coach, my friends and my soul staring back at me and simply saying, ‘Silly girl!!’. Could’nt help but just smile back at them and say aloud, ‘I told you I need your help, so now please forgive me’.
Something amazing that I experienced and watched in the past 57 hours, was the power tussle of the mind and my being, both trying to rein which one of them is supreme and more powerful. It was like watching WWE and I as a spectator just felt the punch every time my mind hit my being and my being just played defense.
Like my spiritual coach said, ‘Watch it, when it comes, and don’t start arguing with it’. This ‘It’ I am talking about is the ‘The Great Thoughts’ (all sarcasm intended). This power game of the mind and my being, have left my intestines wriggled and all cramped to one corner of my stomach, my head burning (I can cook an omelet), but most importantly an extreme sense of awareness of the journey I have set on to.
Cannot agree more with what I read yesterday when Paulo Cohelo said ‘Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worse kind of suffering’. End of this exhausting 57 hours I truely have to practice "Don't give in to your fears. If you do, you won't be able to talk to your heart".
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